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“EVERYBODY!” Hanji comes bursting into the common room, waving her arms excitedly in the air. “Look what we got!”

Poor Moblit follows after her, huffing and puffing under the weight of two giant boxes. You jump up, grabbing one of the boxes from him.

“Thanks ____.” Moblit gasps, wheezing and panting.

“What is this?” Armin asks, examining the box.

“It’s a TV and a Game Cube!” Hanji says joyfully, opening them up. “The upper brass gave them to me. They think that we could try channeling Eren’s inner…..rage into these games, which might help him control his titan form better!” She beams ecstatically.

“Interesting.” Jean says, pulling out the TV and Game Cube. “What game did they recommend?”

Mikasa walks over, pulling out a thin box. “Mario Kart: Double Dash?” She asks, her brows furrowed.

“Oh, I remember that game!” Eren laughs. “Remember Mikasa, Armin? We used to play it all the time!”

“Oh, now I remember!” You snap your fingers. “That game is a classic!”

Jean chuckles. “It really brings back memories, eh?”

Levi walks in, turning his head from Hanji to the five of you. “What are you brats doing?” He asks, sounding bored.

“The upper brass recommended this to Eren. They think it might help channel away his inner ….rage….and help him control his titan form better.” Hanji replies.

“Heyy, I don’t have that much anger issues!” Eren protests, his turquoise eyes widening innocently.

“Tchhh…sounds like a waste of time.” Levi rolls his eyes.

“C’mon, it’ll be fun! Moblit, go plug in the TV and Game Cube!” Hanji orders. Within minutes, it’s set up and ready to go.

“So, shall we begin?” You rub your hands gleefully.

“What, from what I recall, we can pair up, right? One person drives, while the other fires items. That means we have an uneven number.” Jean says, looking around.

“I know!” Hanji snaps her fingres. “Levi, go play with them!”

Levi stares back at her. “Absolutely not. Why don’t you?” He says sharply.

Hanji grins. “Moblit and I are off to do some more experiments. See you!” She drags Moblit out of the room before anyone can respond.

“Please Levi?” You give him your best pleading look. “It’ll be fun. I’ll be your partner?”

Levi exhales loudly. “Fine, one game, got it?” He snaps.

“Yay!! Heichou’s going to play with us!” Eren claps his hands enthusiastically.

I’ll finally get my revenge. Mikasa thought, glaring darkly at Levi.

Armin grabbed the controller and clicked through the menu. “Let’s choose characters!”

You examine the characters on the screen. “Hmm….” You ponder thoughtfully. So many choices.

“Hey Jaeger.” Jean tosses to Eren. “You should be Princess Peach, since you get kidnapped so often.”

“Hey shut up Horseface, why don’t you be Bowser, since you’re both ugly?” Eren shoots back at him.

Jean just smirks. “You know what, I think I will.” He turns to Armin. “Who are you going to be?”

Armin looks thoughtfully at the screen. “Hmm….I’m think I’ll be Toad.” He decides. “He’s lightweight, and we get that Golden Mushroom Special, which lets us go even faster than normal.”

Eren stares at the screen. “There’s no one good!” He whines.

“Eren, just be Princess Peach.” Mikasa says exasperatedly.

“Fine.” He grumbles.

Mikasa brightens. “Then I’ll be Mario, so I can protect you.” She says smugly.

“Mikasa, I don’t need your protection!” Eren exclaims.

While Mikasa and Eren bicker, you looked over at Levi. “Who are you going to be?” You ask.

Levi frowns. “I’ll be Paratroopa.”

You laugh. “Well ok then. I guess I’ll be Diddy Kong”

Levi looks at you like you've gone insane. “Why do you want to be a monkey?”

You lean over, whispering to his ear. “You get the trio shell special, and I get the giant banana. It’s perfect; we can use the shells to attack people, and the bananas for defense.”

Levi smirks. “Good plan.”

With everyone decided, Armin continues to the stage menu. “Let’s do Princess Peach’s Beach, in honor of Eren.” He announces. Eren shoots him the finger, still disgruntled.


The game starts, and every takes off.

“Damn it Mikasa, why won’t we go!” Eren asks frustratedly, smashing all the buttons.

“Eren, you have to press A to accelerate.” She replies patiently.

“I knew that. It’s coming back to me now, don’t worry.”

You and Levi shoot ahead, in second place. You can see Bowser and Toad on the screen, just a little bit in front of you, inching ahead.

Levi guns forward, driving the kart into the first question mark box. A trio of red shells appear. Perfect. You grin.

“Sorry Armin and Jean!” You laugh and fire them off. They all hone in on them, knocking them down over and over. You and Levi’s characters shoot ahead, right into first place.

“Nice one.” Levi remarks, and you grin maniacally.

Suddenly, Mario and Princess Peach’s kart comes out of nowhere, knocking you aside. “What the hell?” You demand. “How’d they catch up?”

Eren laughs. “I told you It’d come back to me eventually!” He twists his body wildly, as his characters approached a bend.

“Geez Eren, you don’t have to move your entire body, only your hands.” You laugh at his ridiculous position.

“Shut up! At least we’re beating you!” Eren snaps back, his eyes huge and gleaming with excitement and competition. Suddenly,  you hear a familiar sound, and a blue shell with wings flies over you.

“What was that?” Levi asks, frowning.

“Wait, slow down!” You yell out. Levi presses the B button, slowing down the kart.

“Look Mikasa….” Eren says, his eyes widening in wonder as he let go of the A button. “The Wings of Freedom…”

“EREN!” Mikasa practically screams. “That’s not the Wings of Freedom, that’s a homing Blue…” She’s cut off as the blue shell explodes at Mario and Peach’s kart, tosses them high up into the air.

“Go!” You shout to Levi, and he presses the A button, and the two of you speed back into first place. “It was a Blue Shell, it targets whoever’s in first place.” You explain to him. “By slowing down, we avoided getting caught in the blast.”  

“Good call then.” Levi says, grinning. “This is actually pretty fun.”

“How does it feel to fall to last place, Jaeger?!” Jean shouts, laughing wickedly.

“Fuck you Jean!” Eren howls his arms flapping wildly as he tried to steer the kart properly.

“Eren, get your character to switch places with mine, and just let me drive.” Mikasa urges.

“NO! I can do it!” He insists angrily.

You concentrate on the screen. Final lap. You and Levi are still first, but Jean and Armin are rapidly catching up. The two karts approach a bend, your characters going at maximum speed.

“Drift!” You exclaim to Levi, and he presses the R button. The kart drifts to the right, and you laugh as you characters pass through the bend safely.

Suddenly, Bowser and Toad’s Kart darts right in front of you!

“But how!” You exclaim, looking over at them in shock.

“Ha, it worked!” Armin punches the air excitedly. “We forced the two of you to go through the bend as quickly as possible, so that we could dart in and overtake you!”

You growl. Damn him and his brain…

“C’mon, faster!” You growl under your breath as you see the finish line approaching. Levi steers the kart into a question-mark box, and you groan as three green shells appear. Green shells wouldn’t automatically hone in on whoever was in front, only bounce whatever objects randomly. We’re screwed…

Then you get an idea.

“Levi, steer the kart so that you’re aligned with Armin and Jeans.” You say quietly. Levi nods, nudging the analog stick slightly to the left.

You close your eyes. Please let this work. You press the X button, and release one of the shells at them. As if it’s drawn by a magnet, it glides across the screen and smashes directly into Bowser and Toad.

“What the hell?!” Jean shouts, frantically pressing the controller and trying to regain control of the kart.

Levi tilts the stick to the right, and now your characters right behind them. You fire another green shell, scoring a direct hit.  

“How are you doing that?” Armin demands. “The green shells shouldn’t be able to hit us!”

You just smirk as you overtake them, and for good measure, launch the last green shell behind your back. “Because I have a good driver, duh.” You roll your eyes, unable to hide your smile.

Unfortunately, Jean’s able to dodge the last shell, and now the two of you are neck to neck.

“C’mon c’mon c’mon c’mon……” All four of you chant, watching the characters speed towards the finish line.

In the last second, Levi smashes down on the A button as hard as he can, and your kart shoots right past the finish line, beating them by a fraction of a second.

“WE WON!!! WE WON!!!!!!” You screamed, throwing your controller up in the air and catching it. “OHMYGOSH WE WON!!!” You throw your arms around Levi and plant a huge kiss on his lips.

It’s only after a few seconds that you’re kissing your superior, and everyone’s staring at you. You break away, turning red. Levi just stares at you, his eyebrows slightly raised.

“WHAT THE FUCK’S WRONG WITH THIS GAME?” Eren screams angrily. You look over at the screen. He keeps driving into banana peels, bumping against walls, and veering into the ocean.

“You lost Jaeger! Give it up!” Jean laughs gleefully. “Next time Mikasa, you should pair up with a winner, like me.

You punch him in the arm. “Hello, Levi and I won, remember?!”

Mikasa ignores the two of you, turning back to Eren. “Eren, just let me drive!” She forcibly yanks the controller right out of his hands and concentrates on the screen.

Within seconds, she smoothly manoeuvers the characters through the obstacles and past the finish line, finishing the game.

Eren stares at the screen, growing redder and redder. “We lost…we fucking lost…” He says quietly.

Uh oh…You shy away from him, trying to create as much distance as possible between you and Eren.

He snaps.

“I FUCKING HATE THIS GAME!” He opens the Game Cube, ripping out the disk, and snapping it in half.

“This…game…is…stupid!” He shouts, continuing the break the disk into tiny little pieces, before throwing it on the ground and stalking out, still screaming out curses.

“Eren, wait!” Mikasa scrambles after him, followed by Armin and Jean. It’s only you and Levi left.

“Umm....what do we do now?” You ask tentatively.

Levi smirks. “I think I know what we can do.” He scoots closer to you, and your eyes widen. Ohmygosh…he’s going to…..he’s going to…

Hanji bursts in. “How did it go?” She asks, beaming at the two of you. “Wait…where did everyone go?” Her smile fades as she notes the cracked pieces of the disk lying on the floor.


Everyone’ head jerks up as you hear the sound of glass breaking, followed by angry voices.

“I think the game only made Eren more angry.” You say nervously.

Levi pushes himself off the ground. “I’ll go control the brat.” He says, pushing past Hanji.

He stops, and smirks at you. “Don’t go anywhere _____, I’ll be back.” He promises, before disappearing.

Hanji looked between you and Levi and bursts into peals of laughter.

“Well, at least the game was good for something.”

LOL what did I just write? This is probably the crackiest thing I’ve ever written :XD: 

And yes, TVs and Game Cubes don’t exist in the AoT universe, but for the sake of this story they do now.

The game is called Mario Kart: Double Dash, playable on Game Cube. It has almost the exact same gameplay and idea as every other Mario Kart game, only a few differences such as being able to team up in partners, where one person steers while the other one fires items.

And yes, Game Cube can only play 4 people at a time, but I’m expanding it to 6 

Eren + Mikasa: Princess Peach and Mario (Mikasa/Mario is driver)

Jean + Armin: Bowser and Toad (Jean/Bowser is driver)

Levi + You: Paratrooper and Diddy Kong (Levi/Paratrooper is driver) 

I still can't believe I did this. I had way too much fun writing this. 

If this turns out well, I think I might do one for Super Smash Bros Melee, since that game’s a classic and one of my personal favourites. And maybe I'll throw in Reiner, Bertholdt, and some other characters. What do you think? :D 

Add a Comment:
Mochi-and-2P-Rose Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
*laughs~* love it~!
animeismylover Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2015
Before I read it in my head I said it was going to be awesome. Then in the beginning when Hanji said it was going to channel his rage I was like it's going make it worse. Man I couldn't stop smiling it was amazing you did a great job!
IfYouSayYouLoveMe Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
RandomTea64 Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
IfYouSayYouLoveMe Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
AuraLady Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
lol I think Eren made the game a "smash" lolz
BrokenCupcakes Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
;v; Aww <3
saxophone5673 Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2014  Student Artist
asdfghjkl so cute *u* 
Would you consider a similar one, but with smash bros??? The biggest struggle of that game is deciding who to fight as. *u* such a hard decision which such gorgeous characters...
IfYouSayYouLoveMe Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2015  Hobbyist Writer

saxophone5673 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2015  Student Artist
IfYouSayYouLoveMe Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Dragon5032 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2014
I remember the one day I was having a competition.... was behind the person i needed to pass.. had a red shell shot it... A GOD DAMN GOOMBA THING GOT IN THE WAY AND COST ME THE RACE!!! EIFHFWUGFIU! x-x annwayy~
AppleMuffinPie Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
This... This was the best thing i've ever read! THERE IS NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE HOW EPIC THIS IS! :Fav:Ika Musume (Sparkle Eyes) [V1] 
spyagent001 Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2014  Student Writer
Ah that was hilarious. Another!

TheFemaleBTT Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
Oh heck no I'm driving I'm a master at this game
lancecorporalbadass Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2014  Student General Artist
yes perfect
LaviLover5000 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2014
I was LOL'ing through the whole thing. GOOD JOB!!!
CydoniaKnights0317 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014
This made my day. It's friggin' hilarious. XD The Melee would be a war...
D-D-Memories Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013
I'm loving this XD
BlueSoul17 Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2013
Omg this was funny! I have and love this game too! But I would've chosen baby Mario or Luigi for the chain chomp. Anyway, amazingly amazing work! :D Clap La la la la 
Cosmic-Luminosity Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2013
I...can't...BREATH...laughing too...hard!
NixxNightmares Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2013  Student Photographer
Eren I'm sorry but I'm laughing-

Thumpuh Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013
That was hilarious
Divine-Silence2 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
This was soo funny! The whole time reading it, I had a stupid smile on my face hahah! x)
KathyBrine Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Student Writer
Oh Hanji.....
Cassius326 Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I couldn't help but keep on laughing on Eren raging lol 😆
Hopeternal64 Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2013
You should do the original SSB as it's controls were more frustrating and the characters are just plain hilarious. Eren must be beaten by Jigglypuff.
3MangaAnime Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2013  Hobbyist
Ayano-Otori Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is beautiful.
AnAwkwardBlue Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2013
harushik Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2013  Student Digital Artist
yes yes yes!!!!!! :iconheichoukiraplz: :iconinloveplz: :iconSmarlyplz:
MarcelineTeen Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013
Yes, pleeeease do one for Melee and maybe even one from the Mario Party series. This was funny as hell to read.
gamefox1212 Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
thank you!! :D I'm definitely going to do one for SSBM, I just haven't been able to really sit down and type it up yet :XD:
MarioFanfiction Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I got to the part where I kissed Levi, then I got a face and made a ermmmmm noise, got up and went to bed. That was about a week ago
Sheerpoint Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2013  Student Writer

simplegamer517 Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2013
Eren: The Wings of Freedom!!!

Mikasa: That's a homing blue...

me: you're so screwed!

Mario Kart is one of my favorite games (although I play the one on the Wii, I've heard of Double Dash as well)
Captain-Allister Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh god, crack to the max xD amazing!
WolfLover0925 Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I was sooooo much like Eren when I played this yeaaaarrrss ago!

It's such a sad thing XD
pokemon7777 Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
ohhhh i loved that
HarryRooden Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
That was really awesome! I love how funny it was! :icondignitylaughplz:

I used to play this game all the time. I don't have a GameCube anymore, but I have a Wii that only reads GC games so it's basically the same thing. Hahah

Anyway, yeah! Loved this! :iconsqueeeplz:
gamefox1212 Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
thank you!! :D 
Kirara-Evans Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013
So funny! I loved it XDDD
gamefox1212 Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
thank you!! :D 
RedSharkRocker18 Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Like someone else in the comments I freakin' died when Eren said, "The Wings of Freedom!" Those Blue Shells, man. I remember I was on 150cc and I was in first place for quite a long time and then right when I was so so close to the finish line--


I freakin' lost so bad! 

You should totally do Melee! I only have a Gamecube and can't afford anything else, wahh, why can't things be free so it'll be fun to see some of those games in writing!
gamefox1212 Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
ooh man, i feel your pain! those blue shells are pure evil  Rage 

And I will!! :D 
Konakona321 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
“Look Mikasa….” Eren says, his eyes widening in wonder as he let go of the A button. “The Wings of Freedom…”

HOLY SHIT I DIED THERE!! XD :iconlaughsplz:
neo-planet Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
I am exactly like eren when playing video games, I press the wrong buttons, fall off the easiest cliffs, end up going backwords and can't turn around, when I move the remote I move my body too, and ultimately, I always end up dead last
DaYuviXx Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hahaha, that was priceless! And I honestly love Super Smash Bros Melee and it would be amazing if you wrote it. Good job. I was giggling the whole time. ^_^
gamefox1212 Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
thank you!! And I definitely will! :D 
ozzayoz Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013
Ohmygod I love this xDD great job! :D
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